Final Wedding Post

The actual wedding ceremony took place inside the hotel. We were in a room with chairs forming a square around a square of cushions which surrounded a tent type thing in the middle. The close friends and family were the only ones to stay and attended. While we were waiting for the ceremony to start we talked to many of them. We learned that the bride's younger brother had been an exchange student with AFS in Chicago last year and is in 12th grade this year. There was a very nice couple sitting next to me who explained what was being said and happening during the ceremony.
The bride and groom sat on low cushioned chairs facing a ceremonial fire pit. The groom's family members sat on the cushions on the same side as him facing the fire and the bride's family. The ceremony was certainly longer than an average Christian wedding. The both the groom and the bride had to repeat several vows after the guru (panditji) as did their parents. In this case Ritu (our exchange student chairperson) was standing in for the groom's father and her brother who passes away recently. The bride was also given detailed instructions on how to be a good Hindu wife and how to move on to her family. After certain parts of the ceremony the bride and groom had to circle the fire. At one point, they switched the sides they were sitting on. The marriage was not considered complete until the seventh and final round. They threw fat and puffed rice into the fire which made the room a little smokey. There were several times that the groom and bride had to eat special foods such as curd and sweets. Like I said, there's a lot that I could say but I think the best way to do this is let the pictures show what it was like.
Through out the whole wedding there were servers passing around "cold drinks" (sodas), water,, coffee, tea and "dry fruits" (actually a variety of nuts).  The ceremony lasted for hours and it was about 5 o'clock in the morning by the time we got back to the hotel.
The bride and groom left even later than that and they, along with their families would sleep for a little bit but then they were all going to play games together. The games they play sound very similar to the get to know each other games and icebreakers that we play at home. That's exactly what they were actually, icebreakers and fun little games and tasks for the newlyweds and their families to get to know each other.

Ritu giving advice to the groom before he sets off on horseback. 

The groom with his headdress, beaded veil, and money necklaces.

The wedding procession.

The groom and little boy on horseback being blessed by family members. 

Hannah and Jordan in their formal wear.

The groom and boy. The boy is a relative or close friend who accompanies the groom to keep him company and protect him, in theory. He was compared to our ring bearer or best man. 

The bride's entrance to the reception.

The bride ascending to the platform. 

The couple exchanged garlands. With them are their younger siblings, the grooms sister on the left and the bride's brother on the right.

The groom giving the bride her garland.

Another garland for the groom.

As a speech was given they simply stood on the rotating platform together.

Me in a borrowed sari with my neighbors.

The bride posing before the ceremony. The long things that hang from her wrists are sort of like our flower bouquet. If she rests them on a woman's head and they fall off that woman will get married very soon. (They almost always fall off)

The groom and his mother right before the ceremony.

All the family members around the fire. The bride's parents are facing away, her sister-in-lad is in purple next to her. Across from the couple is panditji and facing us is Ritu, and the groom's best friend. 

Lighting the fire.

The bride and groom circling the fire.

Another round...

There are a few things that show your public status as a bride and one is a special necklace that is put on during the ceremony. Another is a red mark of tikka placed right below/ on the part. Newly weds also wear their wedding bangles for about a year after the wedding without taking them off.

Main Wedding Function

I don't know the best way to do this because there is so much I can and want to say to describe the last day of the wedding but I also have a lot of pictures that I want to post. I think I'm going to try to keep my description as brief as possible and let the pictures show what it was like. Most of the day was spent resting from the night before and preparing for this night. After everyone was ready, about two hours after the planned start, the groom's side gathered in the hotel we were staying at. There was a ceremony where the groom received headdresses and dozens of large necklaces made out of 10 rupees note. A little boy who was to ride with him to the wedding was also adorned with several of the necklaces and a turban.
Everyone spilled out into the street below where the groom mounted his traditional white horse with the little boy behind him. The horse to was all decked out for the procession. Family members gave last minute blessings with more money and placed tikka powder (the red paste used on foreheads for traditional occasions and welcomes) on his forehead. Finally, the crowed began to walk as one mass out to the main road. The procession consisted of a mass of people with the groom and boy on a horse lead by a hired man in the middle. A large music player-mobile lead the way blasting music and accompanied by several men playing loud drums. Around the outside of the crowed were people carrying large electric lanterns, the wires connecting the lanterns ran around the perimeter of the crowed and to a large, loud generator on wheels that took up the rear. The main wedding party was in the middle of the group dancing enthusiastically. Accompanying us were also fireworks and confetti cannons. After a hundred meters on the main road, there was a mad dash for the cars that followed and everyone got a ride to another part of the city.
We all reconvened near where the wedding ceremony and reception would actually be held. From here the same procession restarted except with even more zeal. We danced out way slowly down the main road towards the garden where the reception was to be held and where the bride's family was waiting.
Once we reached the entrance to the garden, there was a traditional exchange of formalities and greetings between the two families. Soon everyone had poured into the reception area where there were massive buffets and eating areas set up, waiters milling around with trays and and a stage set up on the opposite side.
After a little bit, there was some fanfare and the bride was carried in on a pallet by some of her family members. She ascended a set of stairs to a circular platform set up in the middle of the area. There she stood elevated so that everyone could see her and the platform rotated around so that she faced everyone. From the other side, on an opposite set of stairs, came the groom who stood with her. There, the some family members came up and spoke to them. There was a speech made and the couple placed flower garlands on each other. More confetti cannons were set off. At the end, the couple was standing together instead of on opposite sides of the platform and they both descended to the side the groom had come from.
The couple and their main family members then went to the stage where the bride and groom sat in elaborate chairs while people came up and presented them with gifts, most commonly envelopes of cash, and congratulations and well wishes. Very often, when a party brought their gifts to the bride and grooms to be they were all called upon to stand together and pose for pictures.
This lasted until well after midnight when most of the guests except for the closest few had left. At that point, the wedding party got to come down from the stage and eat dinner. Following dinner, many of the women changed out of their saris and into kurtis.


THIS HAS BEEN MUCH LONGER THAN INTENDED. I WILL FINISH WITH THE CEREMONY AND ADD PICTURES TOMORROW. FOR NOW I'M GOING TO BED, I HAVE SCHOOL IN THE MORNING.

Wedding Day Three

The third day of the wedding consisted of two functions. In the early afternoon we we to a ceremony at another hotel. This was the first time we'd seen the bride, she and her family had arrived that morning from Mumbai. There was a ceremony between the two families. A sort of greeting and welcoming to the bride's family. They exchanged gifts and promises. The gifts varied from gift baskets of food and sweets to some stunning traditional jewelry mostly for the bride's family. It was a very small room with a lot of people who were all talking at once even all the way through the ceremony and the guru's prayers but it was also really interesting to watch. The bride was beautiful, and she wore a really heavy lehenga and had jewelry put on her. I don't think this was the first time that the couple had met but they didn't know each other well. The bride also had two brother's with her and I think it must be hard on the family to have a daughter leaving to another city so permanently.
Later, around 9 that night was a cocktail party organized by Ritu Grover at a garden event center just outside of the city. It was black and red, western dress code so we all bought formal western wear previously since none of us had really brought anything that nice with us. At the beginning of the night there was a series of dances preformed by the close friends and family of the wedding couple. The couple themselves sat in a flower covered pavilion with their parents off to the side of the audience where people could come congratulate them, take pictures, and they could see the stage. There was also a ring ceremony on the stage after the performance that only the family experienced close up. The rest of us enjoyed the massive buffet and dance floor that were set up. It ended up being a really late night, I think I'm starting to get the hang of dancing to Indian songs but it was still much easier for me to dance to the English ones, I think part of it is that knowing what the lyrics are saying helps.

The bride and groom at the afternoon ceremony.

The bride's brothers (standing) after giving blessings to the groom (sitting right). The holy man who performed the ceremonies is sitting on the left holding sweets.

The grooms sister (in blue on left) handing a gift to the bride's parents.

The bride and groom at the cocktail party. 

Close family friends of the groom's performing a a dance to a popular movie song at the cocktail party.

Little girls enjoying the performances as well.

Hannah, Jordan, and I.

Happy Republic Day

Yesterday (the 26th) was the 62nd anniversary of the framing of India's constitution. All through the streets there were people sell flags and other patriotic paraphernalia like orange, white and green pinwheels and arm bans. Many vehicles and auto rickshaws had flags attached.
It was a national holiday but many schools, mine including, were in session for a few hours to hold assemblies. My school day was from 9:30 until 11. At 10 we had an assembly where a few of my classmates gave speeches, along with the principal, and a student who was chosen as a model student from the 12th grade raised the flag. One of the speeches that a boy in my class gave was about how disappointed he was sometimes in the state of India and what a dishonor it was to those who struggled for India that her people are now disregarding basic values. He touched on everything from corruption to obeying traffic laws to saving power then begged his peers to do what they could, every small thing, to turn India away from the direction it's heading. He said he recognized there was nothing that we could do to stop our elders from committing crimes and corruption but if we stuck to our values, when it was our generation's turn to take the positions of power, India could be a great country. He said that most people realize India's heading towards being a great world power, but that power could end up being a bad thing if something did not change. He said "The boat that is India is being rocked and my fear is that I may drown too. Let me take a chance and row even if the boat it full of leaks."
After the ceremony and assembly, we had snacks and then headed home once again.
The celebration also made me think about where, developmentally, India is today versus where we, the United States, was only 61 years after our constitution was signed. Not this close to being a world super power, that's for sure. 

Wedding Day Two

At five o'clock on the second day of the wedding all the women got mehendi. Mehendi is the designs that women get on their hands and feet using henna. There were women who had been hired to apply the henna. There the women all worked in pairs, one would draw the outline with henna and the other then filled it in so that one side of one hand was done then the same side of the other hand was outlined while the first hand was being filled in. The hardest part was sitting patiently while the paste was drying then not playing with it so that the color set. The evening ended with more singing and praying and of course, a meal. At night me put Vasiline on our hands so that the color darkened. It's said that the darker the color stains your skin the better your relationship with your mother-in-law will be. Because of how light my skin is the contrast stood out more, and it looked really dark. Maybe that means I will have a really good relationship with my mother-in-law...

Getting mehendi.

All the women sat on the mattresses on the floor after getting their mehendi and many of them took turns singing.

Amanda's mehendi.

All of the exchange students with Ritu Grover and the groom's mother.

Yesterday's temple became a mehendi station.

Wedding Day One

The wedding, which lasted for four days, was arranged over a website by a guru. The newly wed's astrological signs, castes, religions, and social statuses matched.
On the 14th we attended the first function of the wedding. It was an evening pooja and prayer ceremony to call the gods to the wedding and to bless the groom. The bride was not even in the city yet, it was just the groom's side. Close family members sang prayers to the groom. It was a long ceremony but it was also not extremely formal. There was singing and dancing and music and people chatted with their neighbor throughout the whole thing. We sat on mattresses that had been set up on the floor and there was a flower covered bower tent-y type thing that was set up on one end where a temple had been set up. People gave a lot of money to the groom and his family, it was given as a blessing by waving the bills around the person being blessed's head.
Of course, like any Indian function, the night ended with a meal.

The temple/ alter that was set up in the hotel. 

Ritu Grover (our exchange coordinator, left) and the groom's mother (right).

The groom dancing with his older sister.

Lohri and my Cousin's Birthday

January 13th was not only my cousin in the U.S.'s birthday, it was also the birthday of my cousin, Jahanvi, here. On top of that, is was also the Hindu holiday Lohri which is like a spiritual New Year. We had another bonfire in the street and most of the neighborhood was there. Everyone took handfuls of special snacks and walked around the bonfire, throwing the food in. This represents burning all sins, mistakes, and ill feelings from the previous year and restarting. The snacks were popcorn, sesame based snacks, and little sweets. People also ate handfuls of them. Around 11, we finally went up for dinner at my aunt and uncle's where we had a birthday dinner fir Jahanvi. After the cake was cut, as tradition, the birthday girls was fed by each person and they were fed in return. When my sister, Ipshita, went to give Jahanvi her cake she smeared it all over her face starting a cake fight. By the end of it, we had cake in our hair, all over our faces, stuck to our socks from the floor, and on our clothes. It was a very fun and crazy night.
The next morning I left to go to the wedding and the hotel where we were staying the next four days.



Today, the 23rd, the exchange students joined one of the Rotary clubs and many people all over the city at one of many stations set up to give polio vaccinations to the slum children. We set up in a small, lower class school in a much poorer part of town. Announcements were made with a blow horn from an auto rickshaw that drove through the streets. We each helped out a different Rotarian. I worked with a woman doctor who alternated between giving pregnant women brief check-ups and prescribing minor medicines to mothers and children for aches, pains, coughs, and things. There was one young women who was pregnant with her fifth child and the doctor told her that she needed to stop having kids. I got to hear the heartbeat of one of the babies too! The room where she did the check ups was a small, empty, concrete class room with no glass on the windows and the women lay on a metal bench.
Hannah helped give out prizes and toys to the children who had gotten the drops. Nikolas and Jordan helped to give the drops to the children. They only had to have any child under 5 swallow a few drops. Jordan also spent some time helping a male doctor who was also there. It was really fun and really cool. This kind of thing was something that I've wanted to do since coming to India.

Last South Tour Pictures

This is the last post of South Tour pictures, too bad I'm leaving for the North Tour in less than a month! I'm almost caught up to current events...

I took this from a restaurant deck in Kovalam, a beach, resort town. It was one of the more touristy places we went but it was also extremely beautiful and a fun place to stay.

The Kovalam lighthouse.

I just realized I don't have any Goa pictures. Goa is probably one of the more famous cities in India, it's a total beach, tourist town. This picture is in a Cafe Coffee Day, which is like the Indian version or Starbucks I guess, in Mumbai. They're in every city and we, the exchange students, tend to go there a lot.  I'm wearing my new favorite pants, they're SO comfortable and baggy and purple... The other person is my friend Nisha Khan from near Toronto.

The Mumbai train station.

SouthTour Pictures Part Seven (Kanyakumari)

Kanyakumari is the town at the very southernmost tip of India. It's also a holy place because it's waters are where three seas meet, the Indian Ocean in the south, the Bay of Bengal in the east, and the Arabian Sea in the west. It's also a fishing town. 

There are a few rock islands just off the coast that have temples built on the to tribute philosophers, poets, and great thinkers. It was a fairly rainy and windy day on the water when we took the boats out. 

This point is the farthest south you can go an still be in India.

There were many people swimming in the waters near to where the seas meet. They actually meet a little further out, you can see it in the water because each body of water is a slightly different color. 

Gandhi's ashes were once held here for a few days until some of them were thrown into the water where the three seas meet. The light only hits the stone on one day a year, his birthday is I remember correctly but it might also be the day of his death.

South Tour Pictures Part Six (Alleppey Backwaters, Houseboat)

I've had a hard time deciding whether I should write about the wedding while it's still fresh in my mind or try to finish up with the rest of my tour pictures. I decided to go with the latter to make things easier for me. I haven't written in my journal about the wedding yet but I think I'll get to it tonight or tomorrow (I'm a few days behind).
Anyways, we spent an evening, one night, and the nest morning on houseboats in the backwaters or Alleppey towards the end of our tour. It was really warm, but beautiful and extremely peaceful! I wish we could have spent another day on board...

We had two boats, this is looking from mine to our other one.

Again, the other boat.

We stopped at a little, little island for the night and tied the two boats together just as the sun was setting.